A Lane called Love…In honor of Frank Asiimwe Kamugira

 I come from a culture that for lack of a better word is very closed up. From a young age, we are encouraged to act prim and proper at all costs, stay in our lane and not drift to another person’s lane unless absolutely necessary. And lest you get me wrong the culture is centered along ‘Ubuntu’ so good Samaritan acts are very common but when it comes to those who are near and dear, it is very common to say “how are you?” to which the standard response is, I’m fine without any depth. For children, at least when I was growing up the norm was children were supposed to be seen and not heard. This translated to clear boundaries between adults and children, children although much loved were not to question adults.

Recently, I received the news that a family friend Frank Kamugira had passed away on January 14, 2023. This is not a very pleasant way to start the year so this news shocked me to the core. As I processed the loss, naturally my mind went back to lots of childhood memories and also to the last time I had seen Frank in December 2019. I visited the family and had dinner with them, Frank ever jovial was so happy to see me; we embraced and exchanged a few pleasantries but never said anything meaningful. So as I took in the news that he was no more in the physical, I was forced to reevaluate my culture, our shared culture that I had always held in high regard.

I realized how fragmented and restrictive this culture is … I blamed the culture for my not engaging more with Frank the last time I had seen him. My mind went back to when he was a student at Old Kampala High School and how he ensured his father’s driver gave us a ride and that we made it safely to our neighboring primary school. I should have reminded him of this memory and thanked him for his thoughtfulness and kindness back then. I should have shared where I was in life…after all, I now lived in America where he had coincidentally also done a brief spell of his life. I’m sure he could have had tips for me about doing life miles away from home. Instead in the true Ugandan way, we had appropriately exchanged greetings without really checking on each other.

Looking back at this memory, I realized that life has so many lanes and as we go through these lanes we need people to walk life’s journey with us. However, as a people we have taken to only being there during the achievement lane; we are quick to celebrate and party 

but then we are not there when our dear ones are going through the rough or not-so-pleasant lanes of life. Instead, we legalistically check in with a “how are you?” to which the standard answer is fine. We then smile and if we sense anything wrong, because of our culture we are more prone to just assume things and hope for the best, sticking in one's lane more like...

My prayer is Frank’s sudden demise will challenge those who were dear to him to do better as tomorrow is not promised. I hope even with the restraints of our culture, we will do life in a lane evidenced by love. That we will have open hearts and open hands and will be intentional about checking in with each other.

Romans 12:10

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

 So in honor of Frank, I hope we will all find ourselves traveling in the lane of love, keep in the love of God, rejoice in it, and stay in it so that when it is our turn to go, we can rest in His love.