Conquering Growing Pains

If you are like me most likely when you were young, you admired grown up’s. In your eyes or should I say mine they just seemed to have it ALL. Uh I can’t tell you how many times now that I am a grown up I have looked at little children and wished I was them. Having been there before and being this side now I am convinced without a shadow of doubt that they have the better side of the coin. Even the Lord Jesus Christ said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

A child is always a child to their parents in and in many ways especially at my most vulnerable, I have refused to grow up and have run to mum dearest with my worries still believing she will wave that magic wand and it will all be well. Well not this time, an excruciating pain had I been ignoring and hoping would go away necessitated that I visit the Emergency Room late one Monday night. There I was alone and frightened but determined to get rid of the pain and find out what was wrong with me at whatever cost. What I thought would be a 2 hour wait rolled right through the night and into the morning. I went through procedures that I had only previously only seen on TV shows and as I put on a brave face with every new one, hiding my fears, I couldn’t help but reflect on how blessed I was.

I fussed when I had the intravenous catheter put in and the nurse was shocked that at my age I had never had one. This was the better of the procedures especially as when the results from everything were compiled and delivered, it was not good news. As I bowled my eyes out, the doctor kept saying not to worry as it wasn’t cancerous. For her, having seen  I guess most of what it is out there my situation wasn’t so alarming and yet for me it felt like my world had come crashing as I pondered on why me and what was next for me.

I went through a lot of emotions that day, including being angry at the All Knowing one, but  try as I might I felt deep within me this wasn’t news to share with my mother, at least not yet. The old me would have run to her without a thought, regardless of whether it was sensible or not, so as I went through the day I realized the fact that I was holding up from sharing with her meant that finally I was emerging from being a chicken to an eagle. After all nothing was clear about the next step and what good was sharing with her going to do  but worry her over something  she had no control over.  

By the end of the day I knew that to rise above this situation the only way was up and not down if I was to overcome. I calmed down and I remember what really sustained me was changing my train of thought; Instead of asking God why out of the many people that would be in my position this burden had fallen on me, I decided to instead thank God.  The doctor had implied there were people out there with more dire situations, worse still there are people who have my one night in the ER as a daily occurrence. Thinking this way has not only  helped me  truly appreciate how blessed I am but has showed me that growing up  is not being selfish but is instead looking at things square in the face , with an I can do it attitude.

I am still on this journey of proclaiming healing and restorations and I Know God uses different ways to heal us, I don’t know yet if it is miraculously going to go away or if am going to need surgery , but I am carrying on as normal, taking each day at a time , growing and believing for the very best from Jehovah Rapha.