Friday, 27 November 2020

To Love and To Be Loved!

 

“Children are the crowning glory of the aged”

Proverbs 17:6

 

That verse brings to life the special bond I had with my grandmother; I was her beloved and she mine. My first vivid memory of her is she picking me from kindergarten and we would take the short walk back home together hand in hand. On one of those early afternoons, I refused to hold her hand telling her I didn't approve of the improvised string of cloth she had around her gomesi (dress) as opposed to a proper kitambala (sash). She was obviously amused by my reaction for instead of telling me off, my comment humoured her. Over the years she fondly told this story on days no end about me being a snob and how she ensured she looked her very best from then on. She told this story in so many versions and used it as an example for all us to ensure we always looked representable and ready for whatever task came our way.


Living over 2 hours’ drive away from us, her visits were always a welcome sight to me and our bond grew ever so strong. With time it became clear, ours was not a love of merely sharing blood but a profound connection. She was not shy to show that she loved some family members more than others. So after 5 years of ailing on and off, when I first heard of her passing, my first reaction was placidity. Being miles away from home, as the messages started flowing in, I was dismissive and frigid at the very most; not until I got one from one of my sisters that denoted my loss. It read "your grandmother has gone home" it was ghastly reading those words and they evoked in me a very somber feeling and suddenly the weight of my loss hit me.


As I processed the loss, I was a bag of mixed emotions, the most important being the certainty of our love for each other. As I relived some of the memories I was glad that she was free from the pain that had characterized the last leg of her life and that in so many ways had stopped her from truly living. A devout catholic, she prayed and twisted the rosary beads like her life depended on it, I would tease her and make funny faces as she knelt and prayed but that never detoured her from communicating to her maker. She always made a party of the annual Martyrs’ day, it was her special pilgrimage and it was sad that when Pope Francis visited Uganda in June 2017, in spite of having secured her a VIP ticket she was yet again too sick to attend.

She liked to turn up and even on the hospital bed, I always teased that the patient looked a ton too healthy. Her favorite accessory was a mirror and rarely did I see her grey hair. She was happiest when gifted with clothes or cosmetics. On my 2nd last visit, just like her she protested that I had not brought her perfume. In hindsight I had not thought it a priority for someone who was bedridden half the time, but I should have known better.

My grief is made easier by all my family members who affirm that ours was a friendship to envy. And in the words of my sister, who over the years decided she was more my grandmother than anyone else...
“Joey, take comfort in the knowledge that you were greatly love by your grandmother she wasn’t ashamed to show it, express it or even tell it to whoever cared to listen. I personally choose to remember her as a person who loved outdoors and parties.”




And steal the party she did, I laughed silly when I heard from my mum that on her death bed she was on edge - not simply because of the pain but because she got anxious  about dying during a pandemic. She was distraught, concerned mainly on the issue of not having enough people to give her a send-off. I'm sure she was smiling on the other side as I hear it was quite the well-deserved celebration for her 88 years on earth.



Her going has emphasized to me, that no matter how old someone is, or how much you want them to be free from their pain, even with the assurance of heaven, you can never truly be ready to say goodbye. The good book has many variations of painting the reality of life and death to us and at times like this, it pays to lean on its reassuring words. 2Corinthians 5:8 Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.

 


Tuesday, 21 April 2020

TURNING THE PAGES

I don’t exactly remember when I fell in love with reading, but I do know I have always been an earnest reader. My first collection of reading is the Ladybird series Peter and Jane.  When I started primary school, I sailed through book 1A of this sequence but struggled with 1B hence it was a constant both at home and at school. Up to now I only have to close my eyes and clearly see Peter, Jane and Pat their dog.

Fast forward, this bookstore at the airport took me back to some anecdotes and it is incredible how reading has not only built my relationships but most of my core values and the adventures are founded in the various books I have read.


Whilst I spent the next several minutes perusing through the books at this airport stand, it took me back to precious memories. You see back in the day, a major highlight for me was getting the treat of a new book. The sound of the crispy pages as I turned to read what happened next was always soothing for me and carried me to faraway places.


As a matter of fact, my first date happened at a bookshop, we liked each other and after the school term ended he asked to meet up at Aristoc, a bookshop in Kampala. He recommended a thriller and eager to please that day I went home with the Godfather.  That book introduced me to the world of suspense and heightened excitement that comes with that genre. In time I became an avid John Grisham fan and each Christmas I treated myself to the different titles. That day at the airport, I naturally narrowed it down to the latest John Grisham.


So just what is in a Book?  Besides the different genres, for me a book represents places, people, mental exercises, relaxation, relationships, memories, aspirations, happiness…life itself. Believe it or not, my viability at different stages of life, in one way or another is linked to books. 

The children’s author Enid Blyton was a great favorite of mine and introduced me to England. She had a way with words. As I read her narratives of the Secret seven and the Famous Five I always envisioned myself there with them. Years on, on my maiden visit to England , as the nation celebrated Guy Fawkes day, a very foreign holiday to me, once the fireworks were explained my memory took me back to how the characters in these books always looked forward to the bon fire on this day. I didn’t like the noise and fuss that came with this day, but having read about this occasion from these books certainly helped me adjust to the commotion in a more light hearted way.  

With time, I advanced to the adventures of the Hardy boys and the girl detective Nancy Drew. I vaguely remember the different story-lines but do remember that they were such a thrill and saw us scrambling to the school library on our assigned days to get the next spate of these adventure books.  With these books came bonding with unlike characters as we not only discussed the plot but also tried to solve the different mysteries.  Who knows, maybe that is where I developed my skill to critically think when solving problems. 


One of the boys in our little book club fancied himself a sleuth and recommended the ‘The Moses books’ by Barbra Kimenye. Much as these books were closer to home, Moses Kibaya the main character was so mischievous that in our little sheltered world it was very hard to relate to he and his friends notorious tendencies.  These boys could get away with murder and I recently got so nostalgic that   I ordered myself some Moses books so I can experience these escapades once again. I have re-read most of them and the stunts these boys pulled are still in their own league. 

As I advanced to secondary school, Literature in English artlessly became my favourite subject. I was not only introduced to African authors like Chinua Achebe but was also inducted to the world of plays, prose and poetry.  The playfulness in Wole Soyinka’s, ’The Lion and Jewel’ made for otherwise slow afternoon school sessions to be more jocular. Lakunle the school teacher in this play had a way with language in a bid to not only modernize his village but also beat the village chief Baroka from wooing over the village belle Sidi. I don’t even know how on earth I even remember the names  of these characters especially as for the life of me , I can’t remember the full  anatomy of the body without  the help of a search engine.  I guess that just goes to show that even with books some subjects are more engaging than others. 

As any literature student will tell you, it is just as important to read non-fiction books. And these too, have formed my disposition to life as they have taught me about the different fields in life. Categorically, owing to the fact that this genre is very unadulterated, I generally find them less appealing. However, once in a while, I have been pleasantly surprised with a book that has a style that stimulates the mind to consume these absolute realities of life.

Sadly, I don’t read as much as when I was young. This is very ironic especially as right now I not only have more books at my disposal but have limitless ways of getting the content. A friend recommended audio books, but I decided not to venture into that route, my reason it wouldn’t be the same.  They teased me about being so dated, so I compromised with electronic books. I now  have lots of books if you can call them that on  both my kindle and phone but  since there is no effort in turning  any pages , at most  I manage one book a month. 

I am still enchanted with books and when I have an opportunity like that day at the airport stand, as I glance through different books, I get enlivened at the story that each book represents with the people therein and their cast of mind. So embark on a new journey today, get a book and start turning the pages.    

  



Thursday, 2 April 2020

Breaking Patterns



A Friend’s 10 cents on Uganda’s COVID-19 Response.

Following the president’s directive to Stay Home in order to Stay Health in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic, I like many other Ugandan citizens have slowly been adapting to the changes. 

On  the 4th day  prior to the 1st April total lock-down, , as I went about my business I noticed that save for a few  boda boda operatives, most of them had abided and were not carrying passengers.  The taxis were parked not packed, the  village welder in Kabowa slum  where I carry out my to day to day work had improvised creating a wireline just before his business premises and at that very point provided  water and soap for any potential customers  to wash their hands before contracting any business with him. 

This turn of events was very bewildering to me as I used to think Ugandans are very obstinate and so caught in some of their ways like littering, driving recklessly, overloading passengers, imposing make shift businesses in illegal spaces including roads… that rebellious drill.  I was thus pleasantly surprised at the turn of events as save for some exceptions looks like everyone is doing their part to beat this virus. With this fact, is the realization that we are actually a people who can actually   adhere albeit with some anomaly to instructions from our leaders. Which begs the question, are our leaders leading by example and have they created other leaders to successfully be in action as examples as we carry on this fight against COVID-19?



 Looking around the globe and so close to home to the neighbouring countries of Rwanda and Kenya and how their leaders have responded, the answer that comes to mind, is ours is an inept and selfish leadership that only implements what will keep them in power at the expense of everyone and everything that matters.  And if you had any doubts, carefully analyse the 3/30/2020 directives on the total lockdown.  Besides totally being contradictory, the instructions were proof that there was no risk assessment done in terms of welfare and people governance. 

 Until now, boda bodas even with their reckless crimes and the havoc they bring to the city where the untouchables  especially as the order from above was   “don’t touch my anointed voters”  today, none of them is above the law and those who think otherwise are vaccinated with kiboko lest we all catch a cold. 

We all remember very well the story of Matthew Lukwiya the doctor who died while serving others at the hands of the Ebola epidemic in 2000. Twenty years on, our local medical workers who daily put their lives at the frontline of such epidemics, are told they can be substituted for Cuban doors and all because of their request for a justifiable increase of their salaries. Well, today we all know the precious Cuban doctors won’t be here for us as Italy calls.
One thing that this virus has done is completely slow down the pace of the whole world. And as the cliché goes, if life gives you lemons make lemonade, our leadership can use this crisis to revamp its broken system. This is the time for them to step up and rather than buying more ammunition or splashing sacks of money to the few as seen in the past, tax relief should be given to all those that are still working, food assistance to those living below the poverty line, a freeze on utility bills, equipping all health facilities with the necessary resources and even working together with opposition for the common good of the people.

The recommendations as given by our president and the ministry of Health are all good but they only count for so much without everyone collectively being catered for with the basic necessities. The fight against the pandemic, as evidenced in the rest of the world, is not an easy one, but as a bruised country let’s also ensure that in our attempt to fight this common element, we leave no room for other vices like spiking crime rates or malnutrition.  Containing Covid-19 is not a light task, but by our leaders setting examples, we can overcome this together.

Take Control of Your Goals: National Resolution Planning Day

  Today is Dec. 30 is National Resolution Planning Day. This day encourages us to reflect on the past year and set realistic goals for the u...