Live, Laugh, Learn; Of God’s Love and His Children

January is gone, February the shortest month of the year is already here, if my math serves me right 335 days to the end of the year. Most people I imagine would still be on track with their resolutions but since I didn’t make any, as I look back to where the first month has gone, I am grateful for a lifesaving revelation I got in the month.

You see at my age, with no child of my own, I am blessed left, right and center with the gift of being an aunt to most of my age mates’ kids that are in y circle of friends and family. In fact for every month of the year, there is at least one little one’s birthday that I have to remember and celebrate. I remember joking towards the end of last year that I was well tired and done with being an aunt as the presents left a pinch in my wallet especially at Christmas. Well, not so fast coz the Lord has used this God given position to teach me something.

This is more so in the last couple of months that I have constantly spent with a precious 3 year old. It has especially been so special as with this one it is not just the odd visit a couple of days here and there all the annual birthday gift but we have literally spent every waking moment together. In most of this time, I have tried to figure out how the brain of a 3 year old functions as I have strived to teach her some of life’s’ values.

The journey like many has not come without flaws and we have shared the good, bad and ugly of life’s falls and achievements with my already thin patience mostly being tried. On one of these days, it’s like I saw the world with a fresh pair of eyes as I likened this relationship with mine and God’s. The resemblance was just so striking that I was humbled speechless.

God, the whole knowing striving to teach me and give me food to equip me for life’s journey and me sometimes throwing tantrums, other times acting along  that a leap of joy has been in order only for me to come trampling down again. In a moment of forgetfulness or total deviance, I have dismissed things that I should clearly know better by now and yet He loves me still.

In some moments of tough love, I have been stern to the little one that to an outsider who didn’t know the intentions of my heart, perhaps mean and unloving but I haven’t waivered and have stood firm by my word as through the different do’s and don’ts it’s has all been an effort of pouring out my love for her.

 Last Sunday, as we sat side by side in church (she refuses to go to kid’s church) the sermon must have been so boring to her that she leaned into me for a cuddle and in spite of not knowing what goes’ through a 3 year Old’s brain as they go through the highs and lows of learning from older people, I felt secure in her love. In that moment I was just this beautiful aunt that she depended and anchored on. It was so peaceful that I couldn’t help reflecting on how many times I go to the father’s bosom to just lean in and trust that He knows best and is there to protect me.

There have been so many moments but perhaps the one that stands out for me is when I will ask her a question I already know an answer to and will listen in patiently to see how she relates it back to me from her understanding. You see for long I puzzled with the question if God already knows what is in my heart why do I have to go back to Him in prayer and say it back to Him. When this little one has shared an answer to me, it’s always so endearing as it’s filled with lots of innocence and emotions that I have no words to give it save for love. Through a child I have been able to glimpse at God’s affection for me and I know what He meant when through His son he said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:14.

Children are a blessing indeed, a gift and since I am the Almighty’s I have echoes of love all around me, the trick is to tune in more.

 

Dilemma solved; Dream, Drink, Dance

Yesterday I set off on a 2 hour walk very excited, not only because I had been house bound for most of the week, but because I determined to pass by the nearest convenience store to buy some liquor to toast to the wedding of my brother, Patrick Musaazi.

Cheers

Thanks to the ever evolving technology, such moments like a wedding from 10,000+miles are easily shared through the various apps that are a communication blessing of the 21^st century. However like my people the Baganda say, “amaaso go omuganda gali mungalo” to literally mean, the eyes of the ganda person are in the hands.  The need to touch and feel, be there after seeing these images sent from so far away left me a little nostalgic. Never one to be defeated, I came up with the idea of beating this feeling by drinking to this union hence the walk.

Might I say, this walk is not only very long but quite dull as it leaves a lot to be desired in terms of scenery, not to mention that my stopping point only has a pharmacy, post office and bank to boast of, nothing that a girl like me would take 2 hours to walk for, so really this particular time the motivation was the ‘bottle’.

After braving the heat 83◦F  today , I made it there, like any girl I stopped long enough in the beauty section  quietly  debating on when was appropriate time to start using the anti-wrinkle creams and if they really worked. Soon I was on the liquor aisle with the price tag determining the bottle I would take and bang there it was cheap and cheerful that after reading the basics I quickly made my way to the check out.

And then as the lady scanned my priced possession she asked for my I.D , grrrrrrh , its then that  I realized that in my hurry I hadn’t carried any. I politely told her I had none but I was definitely over and past the prime age of 21 required by the state for someone to buy alcohol. Alas she wasn’t having any of it and there went my high spirits .Luckily as I had perused through the different pews. I had picked a chocolate, a very much needed item after this big disappointment especially with the 2 hour walk back that waited for me without the drink to join the celebrations so far away.

The otherwise beautiful scenery

 

Later in the day, as I was sipping my green tea with lemon, the taste without the influence and munching and savoring the chocolate taste, I couldn’t help but think if I should welcome the pleasant illusion that to some people, like this checkout lady I still look below 21 over the truth that I badly needed a drink not to celebrate but to make up for what I had missed.

I wish had enough faith for the wedding in Cana miracle of water into wine in such situations, but since I don’t I will just say am grateful that at least I’m not falling apart.

Congratulations Patrick and Theresa.

 

Winning the War

There is so much good around me and yet for some unknown reason I seem to be in the lows, something in the air seems to be aiming for me but I am determined to win this heaviness with the lightness that comes from my anchor.

This anchor is the Lord of Lords, the Alpha and Omega and if like me you sometimes have your doubts he is on the winning side and if we lean on Him, the winning rubs onto us.

 As expected, I started the year with lots of positivity, this time more than ever before, the change of the old to new guard festivities were even less evident because of my geographical location that leaves me with  no numbers to make up for what is lacked in the physical with the social. However I was well aware of the dates, and armed with gratitude for the crossing over. I gave up on the resolutions a long time ago and instead opted for a theme to see me through the year. This is especially amplified because as I looked back at last year, what had happened seemed to resonate with my theme.

So I have spent the last 2 weeks of 2014 obsessed with what my theme of the year should be. This of course has rotated around the far the Lord has brought me and the far I want to go. Greater glory and something to do with favour came to mind a lot, but I think it wasn’t until yesterday that I sealed it with winning the war. When one thinks of war, naturally conflict, violence, disruption come to mind. And how very much like my life, for a war of sorts has been an inescapable and integral part of my adult life. At times it has felt that I don’t know whether I am coming or going as I vie for something that isn’t very clear.

However that is all in the past, especially as more than ever before, I am not only sure of what I want but I am well armed to get it. The details of that are something for another day, so all I will say in order to win the war, I am going to strive to ensure that my story evolves positively by viewing it against the backdrop of God’s truth.

I have been a Christian for so many years and in spite of that fact the question on whether God has favorites has often played in my mind. I know He doesn’t though on some days as I try to comprehend Him am certain He does, which makes Him even more interesting. Either way the sunlight is best appreciated against a lake than a swamp. So this year to win the battle and ensure I am viewing the sun and all it has to offer by the lake vis-à-vis the pond.

 I am going to linger long in Christ’s presence to receive His revelation for what is best for me.  What better way to start off winning the battle, especially as it is a known fact looking back at the men of old like David, that those who lean on the Almighty don’t do it in vain. Here is to greater glory and victory 2014.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Ps.

Well who thinks of conflict at the start of the year, only a psyched in person. Psyched in for positivity and that’s why more than ever before I am determined to wear the victor’s crown this year.

 

Reflections

At the start of 2013 I declared it the year of a fresh start, and sometimes we say things and just go through the motions without giving much thought to the impact of our words. The good book says there is power in the tongue and I think one of life’s lessons that I have carried away this year is to confess positively as much as possible. I am proud to say that slowly but surely when I have had nothing good to say, it has stayed up there in my  mind and just by not uttering it , it somehow dies away or won’t dominate my life….very redeeming

New Year’s Eve is already here and as I look forward to the New Year, I can’t help but look back to 2013. Looking back, I can’t believe how much most of it was characterized with fresh starts and especially one great major fresh start that includes relocation, relocation, and relocation. It hasn’t been a smooth journey but there is always the excitement of being in a new place and what opportunities lie therein.

 

That revelation alone makes me more determined to think seriously about the theme of my 2014 but I am already on the right track of declaring blessings and more blessings in my life. I dare not sum it up in one word but I already have a good feeling about 2014; hurry on.

For now I will look at the change of calendar with excitement, especially as unlike in the past where I subscribed to the school of same caste, same script  different numbers, I now look at the New Year as a time to look back, learn from the mistakes ,savor the milestones however small and be able to wear our most optimistic hats for the new year as we hope for better.

Will give it to finding my theme for 2014 but already harvest comes in mind. A blessed 2014.

Of Time Flying...

This year has gone by pretty fast, I seem to have missed most of it and yet again here we are in the always so blissful festive December and I don’t seem to know we got here already. Guess it is because I have spent most of it scheming and plotting and making the best of new beginnings.

You see in the first quarter of the year, it dawned on me that I didn’t like it where I was and much as I was ever so thankful for all the little steps that were evidence of me going forward or not, I determined that I needed even more change to get to where I wanted to be. With almost just about one person to confine in, my brain has for the better part of the year been working overtime and yes, with a little straining of the eyes, I am starting to see the fruits.

I am not where I want to be yet, but then I am not where I used to be, the time flies so fast and sometimes in my human weakness I wonder if I will ever get to where I want to be or is there even such a thing especially as people seem to want more with the more they get. Well, for now I seem to have taken things in my stride and am determined that when I get there, and by His grace will definitely get there I will take time to smell the roses and just savor and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

You see, as the time has been flying, my brain has in between breaks (luckily it hasn’t switched off) worked with me to prioritize what matters in life and for everything I have gone through and am going through I seem to pause more often and wonder what is the significance and lessons for me to carry away for the future. This thinking and pondering I guess I will attribute to age, after all you know what they say about old wind. Needless to say I try to look for the child in me often times and much as am getting older and wiser, I have refused to get old. The holding on to my youth is what most times gives me the zeal to keep dream and hold hope against hope as I pursue what seems unattainable in the moment but which I know with time will come.

My wishes for 2014 are that I will pause more often and not just wonder where the time has gone, but do more than smell the roses, keep my ideals, keep learning and stay young.

Don't Worry,Be Happy

“

Leave tomorrow until tomorrow

” German Proverb Well clearly this is easily said that done cause isn’t what we do today about tomorrow in one way or another. So how exactly can we leave tomorrow until tomorrow. I am taking a leaf from my own life and well when things are not going well am looking forward to tomorrow hoping it will be a better day. When they are going well or as expected I am filled with joy and anxiety over many more such days another way of reaching out to tomorrow before it is gets here. Perhaps the Germans who came up with that verb should simply have put it like the good book puts it, “do not worry about tomorrow”. Key word here being worry which in that case I am well covered as I hardly worry. Uh I have had some people say, you don’t worry? Yes I don’t, you know why, because I know He who I believe in holds the future in His hands. He takes care of the little birds in the air clothing and feeding them so how much more will He take care of me, the apple of His eye. I have learnt that what will be will be and me spending a night going back and forth around it doesn’t change one thing. And most times if we just let things be, they just fall into place.

Women

They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they’re happy and laugh when they’re nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand against injustice. They don’t take ‘NO’ for an answer when they believe that there’s a better solution. They refuse themselves new shoes so that their children can have some. They accompany their friends to the doctors even for a simple cold. They love without condition. They cry for the success of their children and jump for joy when it comes to the victories of their friends. They’re happy when they hear of a new born or a marriage… Their hearts break when they lose a friend. They’re sad when they lose a family member; however, stay strong even when they seem to be at the end of their last breath. They know that a hug and a kiss can fix a broken heart. Women come in all sizes, all colors, and all shapes. They’ll take their car, the train, a plane, come walking or running or will send you an e-mail just to show you that they worry about you. The heart of a woman, that’s what makes the world go round! Women do more than give birth… They give birth to joy and hope. They produce compassion and are role models. They’re the moral support for their families and friends. Women have much to say and much to give.