Mended Road; Going Forward.

I have had lots of adventures, seen places, made friends, done most of it. Some of it has made meaning, some not so much. As I have grown older I have paused to think and consider what is important before making my next move.

After a brief eventful  spell in the great  East coast  I felt like it was time to call it a day and move on to the next adventure. In the past hush decisions had led to me stumbling around a bend, so this time instead of going on a whim, I did lots of spiritual preparation and waited for God to point me in the right direction.

Waiting sucks and since I don’t have the virtue of patience, I deliberately had to separate myself from the forward flow of time determined to hear from God before setting off.  And God did speak or I thought He did, the messages on which was the right direction started flowing in as soon as I said Amen. There was beauty, the good, the bad and ugly but mainly confusion that I decided to just sit tight and give it my best where I was to avoid any wrong moves. And for months there I was striving hard to make it home, to make it work and just be content in the now and then only that there was hardly any peace and with every few steps there was a nudging that where I was wasn’t IT.

As I leaned onto the Father and asked Him to hold my arm, I gradually woke up to life remembering who and why I was on earth and the peace I was eagerly yearning for came in like a rush and suddenly I could feel His hand pointing me in the direction I should go. To cast out any doubt I might have, God continued to send little signs in the days building up to my move that it was the right decision.

Joy and peace settled in and with the move, His confirmation daily that gave me clarity on fact that I was on the right track. I couldn’t help but beat myself up with why it took so long; And then as I looked back I couldn’t deny that with every step I was never alone and there had been purpose.



The lovely Vivian ,my anchor in the waiting

In my waiting He blessed me with the knowledge that the main task of tomorrow is to live fully today fretting not about tomorrow but wholly trusting Him. As I waited I learnt that sharing is the one bridge to real happiness and even as I waited I was not only blessed but was a blessing to others.

Some mysteries are forever but for now I know where I am mistake or not is destined and it is not for me to know the times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority. After all He not only holds time in His hand but makes everything beautiful in His time and if we wait His promises as sure as day after the night will come.

Living Amazed

It is not for nothing that Why, is called the billion dollar question. Mid last year I was diagnosed with a health condition that not only left me in tears but left me asking why in so many different ways.  After the endless why’s I decided to get by as best as I could, but then one cold February day the excruciating pain confirmed that I couldn’t shelf the issue anymore but had to prioritize my health. Then followed a series of tests that revealed how dire my situation was and by the time my doctor came back to me to advise me the best solution was open surgery I eagerly accepted.

 When I first found out about the surgery option  I was so ecstatic, strange I know but after months of testing and prodding and trying out different stuff I welcomed the news that finally I would be rid of not only the pain but the cause of it. It was only later that night that it dawned on me how big a deal it was, after all my doctor had had to sit a medical committee down to get consensus on the way forward, and yet my fear wasn’t on the procedure itself but the fact that I had no one close by to hold my hand on the day of the surgery, someone to sit by and just love me.

After many nights of outbursts to the fact that those who had me in their thoughts and prayers were miles and miles away and would not be there for me physically I decided to wear my big girl pants and tell myself that the person who mattered most, the Alpha and Omega Jesus Christ himself would be there from the beginning to the end.

It’s amazing how a positive outlook and confession on life  can change the circumstances; No sooner had I accepted my dilemma (alone but not lonely) than the blessings started flowing in. Gone were the teary nights as Joy indeed did come in the morning. First was a financial blessing from faraway and the irony was not lost on me as people in my beloved 3^rd world country Uganda were reaching out to me  in the 1^st world to make my riding smooth. With the financial blessing came the suggestion of possibly having someone fly in to take care of me and I think for the first time I really understood the cliché, “It is the thought that matters” In that moment it didn’t matter if the person would come or not but the fact that they were willing to put their packed up schedule on hold for me just spelt LOVE.

Plugged In

 

It is now week 3 since my surgery and must I say it was not only successful but has given me a new outlook on life. It is like once I let God lead , He kept confirming to me  using different people that my job was not to worry as I couldn’t change a thing but all I had to do was turn up daily and let Him do the rest.

Many a times in my life I have said  I wish God would shout at me because I never hear Him when I desperately want to  and yet He confirms to me daily of not only his provision for me but his endless love. God still has yet to shout to get a message to me but in my recovery season He has without a doubt painted His love not only through the support mechanism and the medical team but He continues to daily confirm not only his provision but His endless love.

With my Awesome Florence Nightingale, I owe her xoxo

 

As if it is not enough that the amazing doctor did confirm on my last review that am healing beautifully , I had someone to hold my hand not only the day of surgery but even in between and in the days following  God has over whelmed me  with the love of friends.

 

What should have been a great trial in my life has instead been a moment of extraordinary love and confirmation that I not only live in a beautiful world but am fortunate to have such beautiful people in my life. Besides understanding the amazing thing called life better I have learnt that am stronger than I imagined. I am so blessed to have received all that love and will be riding on that compassion and generosity for a long time.  I feel like a brand new person who knows so much about life and love.

 As ironic as it maybe, I am thankful for this crack in my journey as much as it made me cry, at the end of the day I can say I have grown and know without a shadow of doubt something glorious is awaiting me.

Romans 8:28

And we know that all for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

 

Resurrection Magic

Someone said, any holiday that starts with a Friday can’t be bad anyhow, so the Easter holiday has always been a favourite of mine.

To get over the how big Christmas was for me as a kid and how it has lost its buzz for me the older I have gotten, I always console myself by saying, Christ’s birth should be celebrated every day of our lives anyway (True that!).

However one holiday I didn’t know I still treasured and want to celebrate every year was Easter. And just like the birth story, the fact that we serve a risen Lord should be celebrated daily, much so during the period after Lent each year with a 4 day holiday. Well sob sob, I didn’t get my 4 day holiday, and if you thought it was just about the holiday, it is not. It is about the dawn of hope that for as long as I can remember starts on palm Sunday with the raising of palm leaves in praise  as we remember our saviour’s  journey to Jerusalem where our redemption not only started but was sealed;

Good Friday  the next week after palm Sunday when the Calvary story is brought to life as we try to live in the moment when our savior gave up His life for our redemption. I remember my very first participation in a 3mile walk to emulate the way of the cross last year that was organized jointly by all the churches in the area.

Until now I had never realized that living out the story of resurrection does lift me and not just because of the Easter songs but the symbol of hope and eternal life renewed in me.

 

I think there is no more other time other than Easter when the fact that our God is love is displayed bolder than ever. To think that He left his grand home in heaven, lived among us, got abused by the same people he came to save and then suffered a brutal death at the hands of the very same people. As a kid I always thought to myself just like some people down there in Golgotha that day , if he was really God  why didn’t he stop this. Actually in my child like mind I always thought if it was me I would have done some superman tricks , jumped off the cross and flown into heaven. As I grew older I appreciated the fact that indeed Jesus could have stopped this script right from the garden before Judas betrayed him but he let his love for us take the day so that we could not only be free from the curse of sin but have hope.

So I did feel cheated that there was no raising of palms this year for me, nor a good Friday service and a Easter Monday .Easter Monday as a matter of fact doesn’t even exist on the official calendar here. Henceforth as long as I have breath  I will  try  to celebrate, the birth and resurrection not just daily but much more so on the days that the rest of the world joins in to celebrate them as a unified body, the bride of our Lord Jesus.

Embracing Life's Seasons

 

My Special January Flavour

I started the year on a bang, January was all things sweet and spicy just like any girl would like it, and then bang February arrived with a vengeance that among others not only saw me use the word shovelling almost daily but also get to do the actual shovelling which I hated with a passion. I kept asking myself how the hell this had become my reality especially as the scene that played out in my life was only one I had previously seen only in movies. And yes, I rose to the occasion, I did what I had to do and the time came and went and with it a change in the weather mainly Spring being officially here albeit not yet ready to take off. And how so much like my life, the winter winds continue to blow, but like it or not spring has come forth and at some point the flowers will blossom.

 

I grew up in a tropical environment, seasons there are something you read about but never actually experience unless you are a farmer who has to look out for the rainy season to sow and sunny season to harvest. So the 4 seasons in true sense, Winter, Spring, Summer and Autumn are truly a foreign concept to me.  After my first encounter with winter some many years ago, the darkness, the headaches, the endless cold and colds that come with it,  I decided I for one didn’t care about seasons and yet here I am in a place that is on record for one of the worst hit  winter 2014/2015.

Magnificent  Effect of the Winter Blues

 

Looking back now that the worst is over ( I hope it is )after all spring is officially here, I can’t help but reflect on how so much like  the different seasons our lives are, the ups, the downs, the 'in-betweens', that no matter what always bring a new day. In the last 3 months I have said the word crossroads so much that I hope I never have to use it ever again in my life but then again seasons come, they go and they come again; And even in the darkest of winter there is light.  It is not for nothing that King Solomon wrote "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1. So yes, the crossroads were many that at one point it didn’t make sense to take one day at a time but hour by hour gradually the days became weeks, the weeks became months and the season became Spring, an optimistic time.

And yet looking back winter was not all bad, when I took the time to smell the coffee, there was beauty in the clean sheet of white that covered everywhere and in between my blurred days, there was light; the innocence of a special child who charmed her way into my life and daily  reminds me so much of the kid in me, encouraging words from who better else than 4 prisoner friends that I receive in the sweet traditional way of a letter in an envelope from miles and miles away, a job to wake up to (winter would be slow with no paid activity) and above all love from family and friends, even across the miles that is always looming in the background no  matter the season.

My winter baby Uche is full of life no matter the season...

 

And as the earth once again changes its position around the sun, I pray that I might not use the word “crossroads” in the near future but better still that I might have the wisdom to understand that just as in the realm of nature everything in life has its own season and in due season I will reap; Joy comes in the morning.

Save The Date

So I decided to exercise my faith through actions, for long I have heard  of other people testifying how they went ahead to actualize their dreams as if they were and how eventually they did just fall in place. A friend planned a wedding, tried on gowns and even wrote the guest list and yes , she did eventually get married , 3 years now and counting.

Call it boredom after all I was snowed in on February 15^th I decided why not speak as if it were, so on one of my social media platforms an app called WhatsApp, I made a status update, “ I said Yes” and sealed it up with a hashtag #Growing  Old Together and of course  to make this believable went ahead and even put a picture  my pretty finger with some bling .And bang just like that the congratulatory messages started flowing in , almost everyone in my contact list had  something to say about my new apparent upcoming  nuptials. What had started as a slow Sunday quickly rolled on with me giggling to myself and replying mainly with a standard, “ Amen , exercising my faith”. At the end though as I reflected on how it had all gone down, I made 2 conclusions, social media has taken over the 21^st century, much as an App like WhatsApp does not have newsfeeds and unless you are really digging there is nothing in your face, people do pay attention to people’s status updates, otherwise how do you explain the people who had not as much as said a hello for months coming out of hibernation just to say a quick congratulatory message.

2. I have outlived my welcome on the open market and almost everyone wants me sold to just anyone, after all no one asked who the lucky guy. Whereas before given my upbringing if you as much as found someone out of the expected circle of must have’s you had to tread carefully and make sure the person’s other traits sold them as a fit , I feel like now as long as it is male and breathes people will sign the deal.

Problem is am not any nearer than where I started unless if you count me confessing saying yes to a non-existent person, exercising faith after all, maybe next I should get the courage to go try on some dresses, not a bad idea as who doesn’t want to see how pretty they look in nice dresses. Faith I read somewhere is seeing  light with your heart when all your eyes is see is darkness, So maybe I should stretch my faith and ask people to Save the Date, now that would be something.

 

 

 

Valentine Snub

St. Valentine’s Day crossed our calendars again this year. If you are in the same locality as me , it couldn’t be better timing falling on a Saturday with Monday a holiday, 3 day weekend to love , love and do more loving .

 

It is not for nothing that someone said love moves the world, and on the pre-day as I looked around in my work environment love was truly in the air. Big bouquets of all kinds of flower assortments, balloons expressing love ,candy and people sharing their love stories in between getting the work done.

 

And there I was looking back at my 14^th February days over the years. From the onset I think I decided it was one day I was not going to celebrate. My reasons being it was a day that for most of my childhood went acknowledged and in a true African way of trying to keep up with everything western, in the late 90’s  out of the blue it bloomed  becoming  a day to contend with the excitement of Christmas. Suddenly flowers were sold in every corner, if you did not wear red and black on the day, you almost felt like an outcast. I have never been one for jumping on the band wagon so even there and then I decided I would never put my love on display on that day. Why that day and not any other day I reasoned, after all I needed love just as much on every other day of the year. And if I am being honest the rebel in me likes to be different.

 

 

Fast forward 2015, older and wiser I thought why not celebrate this day and catch up on what I have missed over the years in guise of using my godson as my valentine, after all every girl loves a grand display of love.  So beginning of the month I thought of gift ideas, I decided on something that would be heartfelt and cheap, something that I would be happy to receive myself. After much deliberation I  brilliantly put together a scrap book  adding  little pieces of just about anything lovely about my to be valentine. And bang Thursday evening as I scratched my head on what I needed to do to make my little book of love complete I got a call that changed everything. In a routine checkup  my to be valentine informed me they had plans to go to Las Vegas for a rugby game, am totally clueless about rugby so just to ensure I was not hearing things I asked again, Las Vegas as in Nevada to which there was  an affirmative . I was left speechless  and so deflated especially with the scrap book in my hand.

 

I now know that there is a good reason why many years ago I decided not to join in the festivities  of a third century saint , love or no love. So there went another 14^th February day with little Phil as my valentine only so far away this time, and who as a matter of fact telepathically asked his mum about his aunt Joey and when she would be back. Who need a valentine when you have got a kid's unconditional love. And  I am not sour grapping....

Looking back on 2014

The Last Sunday of the year found me in church and there I am sitting expectantly waiting for some feel good prosperity preaching. Not to disappoint the pastor started off by saying his message was going to be a prophetic one for the New Year. I sat up eagerly waiting to claim the blessings only that this pastor went into preacher of doom mode talking about the challenges that we would be met with in 2015. Thanks to the coffee I had had earlier courtesy of the good church’s café I managed to stay awake through the sermon and it is a good thing I did, cause right at the end before wrapping up ,pastor Prophet of Doom took on an overcoming approach and there and then everything he had said made sense. The world will never be without challenges but as long as I lean on my savior Jesus Christ I’m assured of everything good or bad working out for me.

To bring it home I have been reflecting on 2014 as a whole, and my my it had some good, bad and ugly all rolled in one.

Remember the hash tag  #Bring Back Our Girls,  the hash  tags went around like crazy creating awareness to the issue however that didn’t bring back the girls and somehow the story did die out with an almost happy ending of 3 girls out of the 300 kidnapped finding their way home.

Ebola claiming 7k plus lives and just when I though the worst is over, a case was confirmed in Glasgow. Sadly 1 person in the west getting Ebola gets mores newsflash than the 7000 in Africa, not forgetting the many children who have been orphaned due to the epidemic.

 Lupita Nyongó beating Julia Roberts to wins an Oscar for best supporting actresses, oh that was a good one and it just went on to show that once God lifts you up there is nothing that can stand in your way coz suddenly there she was gracing People’s magazine as the Most beautiful woman when I had long started to believe the media that real black beauty was Beyoncé’s shade.

Planes vanishing off the face of the earth in this world of Big brother; and just as we were starting to forget about the Malaysian flight there went Air Asia… When I heard the news I prayed that plane would be found  regardless of whether it was at bottom of sea or not coz that is sure better than not knowing at all.

And then there  was me; started  2014 in the usual style very expectant but  with no resolutions( I don’t like the extra pressure that comes with the new year to do lists)Naturally I had prayer requests and a vision , one does need one in order not to perish like the good book says. I saw some of my prayer requests materialize into yeses, and others warm up the wait seats while others clearly blinked back with the answer as a clear NO. Ailments that I had never expected to knock on my door, (duh like anyone expects medical conditions) stayed giving me a run for my money. Yet looking back at everything I can say it was a good year, I was blessed, grew wiser or so I think and am not only still standing but dreaming away. Building castles in the air afterall doesn’t cost anything and right now as I close my eyes, Life is a beach- roll on 2015.

CHRISTMAHANUKWANZAKAH

And Then There was -CHRISMAHANUKWANZAKAH

Growing up Christmas was this extra special time, not because we got presents but because everyone took a break to celebrate the birth of the savior. Yes, trees were decorated and cards exchanged, as part of the festivities we all got new dresses and could drink as much soda as we wanted. In preparation for  the King’s birthday , carols were sang and it was a priviledge to be part of the choir, the songs sounded so heavenly and even now so many years on I always try to play as many Christmas songs as soon as December knocks on the door. A  Christmas Cantata show was put on and cast with full light effects for 10 days before Christmas as a gift to the town from an English speaking church in the center of the city .I still don’t know what the word Cantata means ,for me it means long queues and a new twist to portraying the meaning of the birth of Jesus each different year that left you in awe and  for the years I haven’t attended a Cantata show I still get very nostalgic and terribly miss home.  Christmas even back then was in every way a family holiday with everything that was done drawing back attention to the birth of this baby King born in a manger for the sole purpose of redeeming the world.

Some of the Images from the Watoto Church Cantata shows over the years.

 Fast forward to the 21^st century, thedot.com era masked with being politically correct more than being truthful,  I come across the word, Christmahankwanzakah. I’m not even sure that is a legit word but I first came across it in a work email that mobilized everyone around the holiday season.

With every core in me I’m as pluralistic as can me but I can’t for the life in me figure out why 3 holidays have to mess with a beautiful thing like Christmas all in the name of being inclusive. The Hannukah holiday I had come across some years ago and totally respect and understand how it can fall anytime from November to December but still don’t see why it has to be combined Christmas as it is celebrating something totally different . Kwanza - until this month I knew Kwanza only as a Swahili word  meaning first, I at one time told a friend of mine it would be a good name for a first borne since she was looking for African names. Well now I know there is also a Kwanza holiday, celebrated between December 26- January 1 to honor African heritage in African American culture. I say all good intentions but no business messing around with my Christmas.To make peace with all this and not dawn the holiday cheer going around I remembered a message back from the many Christmas celebrations over the years that centered on the fact that yes we celebrate every 25^th December that a savior had been born to save us but this was 2000 years ago and instead of celebrating this core fact just one day in a year, we had to celebrate  it each and every day we are here .  So yes , I choose to embrace the chrismahanukwanzak in my midst this year because I will be celebrating the birth of my savior every day.And while I do that here are some facts I learnt around from my work team that I must salute for involving everyone the best way they could during this Christmas season, or should I say holiday season before someone shoots.

>The  top 10  American Christmas Traditions, Decorating the tree, displaying lights, hanging stockings, making cookies, drinking eggnog(attending parties, watching movies, shopping, sending Christmas cards, caroling

 >The world’s largest Christmas present was the Statue of Liberty.The French gave it to the US in 1886. It is 46.5 meters high and weighs 225 tons!

>  Kwanzaa was created by Dr. Maulana Karenga in 1966 to celebrate family, culture and heritage, and is modeled after the first harvest celebrations in Africa.The first US postage stamp to commemorate Kwanzaa was issued in 1997. There have been 4 designs released since then, the most recent being in 2013.

>  Written records don’t really indicate how the tradition of Christmas Stockings got started, but there are several legends surrounding this tradition.  The most trustworthy legend maintains that Saint Nicholas learned about a poor man who couldn’t afford a dowry for his three daughters, and he was worried about them.  Saint Nicholas decided to help the man, and he too three bags of gold with him down the chimney to the man’s home.  Once inside, he found the girl’s stockings hanging on the mantelpiece after washing, and he added the gold bags to the stockings and then went about his Christmas Eve rounds. As the story spread, children began hanging their own stockings or putting out shoes, waiting for their own gifts. Usually they used their own socks, but later, specially decorated stockings were created for the holiday.

>  All letters addressed to Santa in the United States go to Santa Claus, Indiana.

Merry Christmas and a Happy Blessed 2015.