Living Amazed

It is not for nothing that Why, is called the billion dollar question. Mid last year I was diagnosed with a health condition that not only left me in tears but left me asking why in so many different ways.  After the endless why’s I decided to get by as best as I could, but then one cold February day the excruciating pain confirmed that I couldn’t shelf the issue anymore but had to prioritize my health. Then followed a series of tests that revealed how dire my situation was and by the time my doctor came back to me to advise me the best solution was open surgery I eagerly accepted.

 When I first found out about the surgery option  I was so ecstatic, strange I know but after months of testing and prodding and trying out different stuff I welcomed the news that finally I would be rid of not only the pain but the cause of it. It was only later that night that it dawned on me how big a deal it was, after all my doctor had had to sit a medical committee down to get consensus on the way forward, and yet my fear wasn’t on the procedure itself but the fact that I had no one close by to hold my hand on the day of the surgery, someone to sit by and just love me.

After many nights of outbursts to the fact that those who had me in their thoughts and prayers were miles and miles away and would not be there for me physically I decided to wear my big girl pants and tell myself that the person who mattered most, the Alpha and Omega Jesus Christ himself would be there from the beginning to the end.

It’s amazing how a positive outlook and confession on life  can change the circumstances; No sooner had I accepted my dilemma (alone but not lonely) than the blessings started flowing in. Gone were the teary nights as Joy indeed did come in the morning. First was a financial blessing from faraway and the irony was not lost on me as people in my beloved 3^rd world country Uganda were reaching out to me  in the 1^st world to make my riding smooth. With the financial blessing came the suggestion of possibly having someone fly in to take care of me and I think for the first time I really understood the cliché, “It is the thought that matters” In that moment it didn’t matter if the person would come or not but the fact that they were willing to put their packed up schedule on hold for me just spelt LOVE.

Plugged In

 

It is now week 3 since my surgery and must I say it was not only successful but has given me a new outlook on life. It is like once I let God lead , He kept confirming to me  using different people that my job was not to worry as I couldn’t change a thing but all I had to do was turn up daily and let Him do the rest.

Many a times in my life I have said  I wish God would shout at me because I never hear Him when I desperately want to  and yet He confirms to me daily of not only his provision for me but his endless love. God still has yet to shout to get a message to me but in my recovery season He has without a doubt painted His love not only through the support mechanism and the medical team but He continues to daily confirm not only his provision but His endless love.

With my Awesome Florence Nightingale, I owe her xoxo

 

As if it is not enough that the amazing doctor did confirm on my last review that am healing beautifully , I had someone to hold my hand not only the day of surgery but even in between and in the days following  God has over whelmed me  with the love of friends.

 

What should have been a great trial in my life has instead been a moment of extraordinary love and confirmation that I not only live in a beautiful world but am fortunate to have such beautiful people in my life. Besides understanding the amazing thing called life better I have learnt that am stronger than I imagined. I am so blessed to have received all that love and will be riding on that compassion and generosity for a long time.  I feel like a brand new person who knows so much about life and love.

 As ironic as it maybe, I am thankful for this crack in my journey as much as it made me cry, at the end of the day I can say I have grown and know without a shadow of doubt something glorious is awaiting me.

Romans 8:28

And we know that all for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.