Full Circle

Have you ever walked into a place and felt like living there or working there would be a dream come true? Well in 2014  I was hired by  a Global  Investment Company and from when i got the call that i had been taken on, i couldn't help thinking how lucky i was, actually so blessed to be joining their team. The first 4 weeks had intensive training and went pretty quick with me half the time mesmerized with the palatial building that housed over 500 employees.

With the training done, tests passed soon we were thrown out on the floor and tasked to work on our own. Like any other job there was the initial excitement that comes in as you get the hang of the job until you find your comfort zone and push yourself on. In this case though the tranquil setting and modern decor of the building didn't in any way match the work dynamics and soon work became a chore as i got lost in the sea of people

Initially everyone is tasked to be helpful with the newbies but this doesn't last long. All official communication was done electronically and let's say my two computer screens became my best friends. I'm not one to focus so much on what is not and so as the months went by i learnt to cope, I was not alone but very lonely and alienated most of the time and i learnt to take solace in the occasional friendly voice on the other side of the phone or as fate would have it i had run into an old face that was not only from back home but from my neighborhood. She worked in the IT department on the other side of the building, we would correspond and sometimes managed to have our lunch together and that was plenty of help. However my biggest champion in surviving the lone cold days at that place was in someone i call a friend.

 I remember it was towards Christmas time; I had just been moved to a new team and was working out my bearings trying to find a helpful face. And out of the blue there she was with the most charming smile she asked me what plans I had for the holidays. I told her as a matter of fact i was trying to get out early that day as I wanted to catch the Christmas carols at my local church among other things. Luckily for us it was one of those slow days and we were offered voluntary early release, before i left she asked for my phone number and well i didn't think much of until she called later that night to ask me about the Christmas carols. That phone call was the beginning of many and a great friendship and even across the miles as i have since relocated this woman of excellence continues to inspire me and keep me afloat when I am losing it.

Last weekend, the great cheerleader that she is asked how I was doing and why i had not written in long, I told her I hadn't been particularly inspired and in true form after reassuring me, she sent me something that she had written as a leaf from me. It so spoke to me and of course I asked if I could share, the answer was affirmative so gladly here goes;

Give  Me Your Mountain(By Cassandre Ezike)

 I was sitting in my living room when suddenly I felt a strong urge to pray, i had been thinking back on my life. I had been dealing with a personal issue that rendered my heart very heavy. I even started to doubt God and wanted to give up on Him. I thought what is the point? But I heard in the stillness of my soul. “Give me your Mountain!" And i uttered these exact words underneath my breath , " Jesus i give you this mountain of pain , I give you  this mountain of rejection, I give you this mountain of financial burdens, I give you this mountain of loneliness, I give it all to you Jesus. Anyone that has hurt me, I choose to forgive them and i want you to replace the hurt with your love for i no longer want to hold onto hurt. I give it all to you.  Replace the anger that I harbored for so long with thoughts of you Jesus. I choose to trust you  Jesus even when i don't feel it , even if it doesn’t make sense to me. And thank you for doing it."

In that moment i yielded my spirit to Him and started to thank Him for lifting the burdens off my shoulders and I immediately felt a sudden change.

Jesus said that we would have many troubles in this world, but He has overcome the world. I don't know about you, but when I think of that scripture, it gives me assurance that no matter what I’m facing, no matter how bad it is I will get over it. We can declare the victory knowing that whatever problems we are facing today, Jesus has already overcome. Every mountain that stands in our way  can be removed. Every giant that stands up in battle against us ,can be crashed in Jesus name. Through Christ Jesus i have victory and so can you. It is for a good reason that Jesus' earthly profession was a carpenter. He is the carpenter of my life , when I'm broken He fixes me . Let Him be the carpenter of yours.

And that there  as testified by Cassandre is how we come full circle, by giving our mountain(s) to the Lord.

Women of Excellence

Loving Up

Relationships are a critical  piece of our existence. Over the years i have  repeatedly read Rick Warren's " The Purpose Driven Life" to remind me of my purpose being here. Each time i have read the book it in many ways confirms what i thought all along that our purpose here is to Love, Love God,our neighbours and ourselves. Just love,love and care about others.

And no doubt for most of my life i have made it the purpose of my existence to love and care for my loved ones jealously. My mother always tells stories of how i was that one kid who always sent her letters back and forth while i was away at boarding school that didn't just ask for pocket money . This trait has carried on into my adult life and i will leave no stone unturned if i can help a loved one .
But what happens if you are giving ,giving and not receiving any love back. Where people have gotten to that point of accepting you as the anchor, unloading all the crap your way and not pausing for a second to say, hey ,how are you doing? And when i talk about receiving back it is not so much about the material attribute but the how are you, or a physical need gratified through a pat on the back , a hug or just the emotional need being met through encouragement .

As people we embrace love so tight and create affections right from kinship  to personal ties and friendships and inspite of the frustrations that may arise I for one am still there for loved ones  because love transcends all, it is the universal aspect of our human experience.

But then in recent times i have heard frequently the phrase , " Loving someone to death" so to say enabling them and taking away from their capabilities .
And much as i am all for undaunting love that never falters , i am also for drawing a line and knowing when to love by empowering someone, tough love so to say. In the recent past i have been forced to make a stand , draw back and watch as one of my loved ones tried to flip their wings on their own , as with all things some others saw this as  me being selfish;  justifying how the other party had always lived with a helping hand.

The guilt tripping worked for a minute but  i quickly put things in perspective acknowledging the  aspect of being a steward for someone else's life entwines with allowing them as much independence as possible to empower them.

Love after all in this context is illuminating someone's path by supporting them enough to thrive on their own. I think the best example is a parent who from the day a child enters the  world mentors them on how to think, how to feel and act and then let's go and trusts their judgement to do right in whatever the world throws at them.

So in the spirit of 'loving up' when other people let go, i hope we can feel powerful enough and tap into our abilities, remembering that they love us regardless and that the world needs all kinds of minds. Just like our mentors lets shine on by discovering new hobbies,pursuits and solutions.