Loving Up

Relationships are a critical  piece of our existence. Over the years i have  repeatedly read Rick Warren's " The Purpose Driven Life" to remind me of my purpose being here. Each time i have read the book it in many ways confirms what i thought all along that our purpose here is to Love, Love God,our neighbours and ourselves. Just love,love and care about others.

And no doubt for most of my life i have made it the purpose of my existence to love and care for my loved ones jealously. My mother always tells stories of how i was that one kid who always sent her letters back and forth while i was away at boarding school that didn't just ask for pocket money . This trait has carried on into my adult life and i will leave no stone unturned if i can help a loved one .
But what happens if you are giving ,giving and not receiving any love back. Where people have gotten to that point of accepting you as the anchor, unloading all the crap your way and not pausing for a second to say, hey ,how are you doing? And when i talk about receiving back it is not so much about the material attribute but the how are you, or a physical need gratified through a pat on the back , a hug or just the emotional need being met through encouragement .

As people we embrace love so tight and create affections right from kinship  to personal ties and friendships and inspite of the frustrations that may arise I for one am still there for loved ones  because love transcends all, it is the universal aspect of our human experience.

But then in recent times i have heard frequently the phrase , " Loving someone to death" so to say enabling them and taking away from their capabilities .
And much as i am all for undaunting love that never falters , i am also for drawing a line and knowing when to love by empowering someone, tough love so to say. In the recent past i have been forced to make a stand , draw back and watch as one of my loved ones tried to flip their wings on their own , as with all things some others saw this as  me being selfish;  justifying how the other party had always lived with a helping hand.

The guilt tripping worked for a minute but  i quickly put things in perspective acknowledging the  aspect of being a steward for someone else's life entwines with allowing them as much independence as possible to empower them.

Love after all in this context is illuminating someone's path by supporting them enough to thrive on their own. I think the best example is a parent who from the day a child enters the  world mentors them on how to think, how to feel and act and then let's go and trusts their judgement to do right in whatever the world throws at them.

So in the spirit of 'loving up' when other people let go, i hope we can feel powerful enough and tap into our abilities, remembering that they love us regardless and that the world needs all kinds of minds. Just like our mentors lets shine on by discovering new hobbies,pursuits and solutions.